Disgraceful Blue

Excerpt from the animation, Disgraceful Blue
Duration: 10′ 24″ (loop)
Animation, sound and performance by Young Joo Lee

<Disgraceful Blue> is based on a dream I had while I was living in Germany as a student. Being a young Asian woman living in dominantly white European country can be challenging sometimes. I felt many times that I was sexualized and objectified beyond my will and intention. Though I had quite a liberal lifestyle during this period, my values and life goals were still South Korean and I had a lot of guilty feelings towards my parents and family. In this dream, I gave birth to a baby girl with blue eyes. My family condemned me, because the blue eyes indicated that she was a mixed blood. This event is followed by a journey that transformed me into the baby girl, and then she eventually became a grown woman to give birth to another baby girl. In the end, the dream revealed my own fears, the social and cultural boundaries that I had to redefine in order to emotionally survive.